the best promise ever made.

i LOVE to travel.

i haven’t been many places, but i’ve only just begun. 

before 2016, i spent most of my 30 years on this earth tucked safely inside the sunshine state.

i was awful at saving money and i was extremely terrified of flying... which is a bad combo if you ever want to get out and explore the world.

everything changed once i married my best friend.

we both were IN LOVE with new york city and decided that we would venture out of our comfort zones and spend the best week of our lives thus far (our honeymoon) in the big apple.

not only did we fall even more in love with the city, but we also fell deeply in love with the whole process of packing, airport chaos, FLYING, and wandering around in a new place.

i called my mom every day and would tell her about our adventures, both big and small. i could hear my mom smiling through the phone. she was so genuinely happy for us. this meant everything to me.

when we got home, mom hugged me tightly and asked me to “please, never stop living. enjoy life as much as you can. keep traveling... even if it’s just for a weekend in orlando.”

i promised my mom that i would do whatever i could to do just that.

mom passed away 6 months after that conversation. i don’t want to dwell on that though... she made me also promise that i wouldn’t post too much about her after she was gone. she hated social media. 

so, every chance we got, we travelled. in the past 2 years, we’ve been to miami, orlando, georgia, washington dc, north carolina, new york, tennessee, and chicago. 

every time i’m in a new place, i think about how badly i wish i could call mom to tell her what we did and saw, but i know she’s with me in my heart through every experience. 

we are not rich by any means... and without ANY help, we have made all of these trips.

it helps that it’s just the two of us. kids are expensive! 

every single week, i set money aside specifically for travel. 

if you put your mind to it and save up, you can go wherever you want... and whatever we don’t spend within that year, we save for the next year. 

i am so thankful to my mom for putting that passion in my heart. she told me it’s okay and it’s not selfish to go do something for yourself if you can. 

so while you are able to... go out and live! 

enjoy this life that you are given.

don’t be jealous of others.

make your own happiness. 

and if you get the opportunity to get out of the house... go do it!

even if it’s jusy a weekend trip to somewhere nearby.

it’s all worth it.

well... hello there, my dearly neglected little blog!
i really should post more on you... but i have been SO busy... just kidding. i have no excuse.
maybe i should dust this baby off and write more...
i have a lot to talk about...one thing in particular...
but i’m trying to be the bigger person and let the issue die.
we shall see how that plays out...
but i can feel the anger bubbling up inside of me...
and it just might have to come out soon.

a push down memory lane

for the past 7 months i have been sorting through pictures and videos that my mom had in storage for years.
i never could build up the courage to look through all of these memories since my dad died in 2000. mom never wanted to see them either because neither of us could make it through a publix commercial without crying, let alone videos of our own family. so we shrugged the memories off and stuck with focusing on making new ones... ones we could look back on and laugh to hide the pain of losing the most important man in both of our lives.
once mom passed in july of last year, i made it my duty to scan every photo i could find and now i am making copies of all of the home movies my dad made when we were kids.
let me just start by saying, i knew that my parents loved me before i took this job on.... but now i can actually see it. i FEEL the love that these two people had for me.
when i was little, i never thought much about the camera that was always in my face. as i got older, it got annoying. sadly, dad died when i was 15, so he left me at the most angsty and moody times in my life. as i look back on these videos today, i am so thankful for the constant documentation of our childhood. i wish i could thank him for all the wonderful memories that i am making today as i watch the memories from so many yesterdays ago.

it doesnt matter how we think we look on camera or what we wore or how frizzy our hair was... or why we were wearing those god-awful tommy hillfiger overalls with a white tanktop?!?!
none of that matters... its all superficial.

i tell my husband (oh yeah... i got married. thats a whole other amazingly wondeful story.) all the time how badly i wished that he could have met my dad. he knew my mom very well... probably better than most people. now i get the chance to introduce my amazing dad to him.

want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

"what do you want to do with your life?"

that, my friends, is the most annoying sound in the world...

yes, i am old.
yes, i work in retail.
yes, i would love to do something else!

okay, now what?

am i supposed to just know what it is that will make me happy AND make money?!
everyone seems to think it's so easy to do....

"oh, you like crafts and you like to crochet?
sell everything you make on etsy right now!"

everyone and their mom is selling the exact same bunch of knick knacks on etsy right now... what makes my stuff any more appealing than theirs?

"oh, you have a blog?
blog about shit people don't care about and make a fortune!!"

i have ONE follower... and they don't even read this thing anymore.

i wish it were as simple as people make it seem...
like all of a sudden my brain will come up with some brilliant plan to make me millions of dollars and get me moved into a gorgeous loft in manhattan...

i don't know...
its just kinda silly...
can't i stay home and play with legos all day and watch tv?
that sounds like a job i could be really good at.

if anyone is interested in my very specific skill set, let me know...
i'll be waiting for all of your calls and emails.

30 is the new lindsey

I didn't think I wanted to broadcast the news that I am officially 30 years old...
but thinking about what the past 10 years of my life has taught me makes me kind of proud.
I'm glad I'm not in my 20s anymore... as hard as it is for me to admit that...
when I was 20 I was dumb and believed whatever everyone else was telling me.
over the past few years I have grown and developed my own opinions about life, politics and about myself.
I feel free to be myself and not be who people want me to be.

I learned that I cannot fear the future because it makes me lose sight of right now.
yesterday has shaped me into who I am today... but dwelling on yesterday does me no good.

I discovered that when it comes to politics... I don't have to vote for people that my family votes for... and honestly, no matter who gets elected... the world will not end as a result of it... no matter how much my right-winged family members tell me it will.

I have realized how important it is to love myself...  I am trying to get healthier and get in shape.... I did this once before when I turned 20, but I did it for all the wrong reasons. I had my eye on a boy... (i got him)
but now, this time it is for me.

there was a whole lot more in my head that I wanted to say, but its late and I've forgotten... (because I'm 30 now... hahaha)

I will continue to write... I know I keep saying that, but I mean it... I think.

stay tuned...

I am only just beginning. I am forever learning. and I still refuse to grow up.

i guess this is 30... here we go!

it's been almost two weeks since the listener show and I still can't figure out if I should tell this story with excitement or shame...

listener, my favorite band in the whole wide world, hardly ever comes to florida and because of this I've never had a chance to see them live... (they did come here two years ago but I wasn't able to go) 

so obviously I was overjoyed when I saw that they were playing a show here in november...

marc and I got to the venue and watched a couple of the opening bands... then I decided to grab a crap ton of merch because I'm that girl... (it's annoying. I know)

we walked up to the merch table and the one and only christin nelson greeted us with a wave and a "hello!" 

I told him that I had a "laundry list" of things I wanted to buy... and he said "I know."

I didn't think anything of it and told him what I wanted. then, he looked at me, pointed and said "lindsey, right?"

...

...

...

...

1/3 of my favorite band in the whole freaking universe knows my mother flipping name!

I asked him how he knew and he told me that he runs the online store and my name has come up several times...

I was so embarrassed/ in awe that he knew me from all the crap I buy from them that I didn't even think to take a picture with him until it was too late.

but either way... I will never ever forget that show for as long as I live... and I really hope I don't have to wait another two years to see them again.

so much to say. so little time!

listener show tonight. 

it was amazing.

christin nelson and i are pretty much on a first name basis (best friends) 

I need sleep, but I have so much to say. 

saving it for next time...

such a weird night.