i'm still a toys r us kid...

as i'm sure everyone knows... toys r us is in the spotlight because some angry mom started griping about them selling breaking bad action figures...

  

i heard rumblings about the whole uproar on twitter and on the radio, but when i read that the stores did actually pull the toys off the shelves and online today, i felt the need to voice my opinion... 

according to foxnews.com, the lady who started the petition claimed that the action figures were a "dangerous deviation from their family friendly values."

while i cannot argue with the logic that breaking bad is a show for adults only, i must point out that these action figures are harmless to people who have never seen the television program. this woman made a big deal about the fact that the figure comes with fake meth... but if your kid walks by this toy in the store and sees the blue substance that walter white and jesse pinkman happen to be toting and recognizes it as meth.... then you are just an awful parent and toys r us is definitely not the one with the problem. 

as a parent, you have the responsibility to protect your children and keep them as innocent as possible for as long as possible because this world is a disgusting and filthy place. i commend you for attempting to do so, but let me direct your attention over here for a bit...

i tend to frequent toys r us more than i should as an adult but i took the "i don't want to grow up. i'm a toys r us kid" slogan seriously and applied it to my life. as long as i can remember, toys r us has been carrying action figures and toys that should never be seen by little eyes! there is an aisle that is strictly for memorabilia from movies and shows. things one would normally see in this aisle could be considered to be rather unsavory. here's a few items that i personally think are way worse than bryan cranston in his underoos...

if you go to the toys r us website and type in "horror" you can purchase... the creepy doll from the saw movies and beetlejuice... both are quite inappropriate for kids.

oh,  and don't forget hellraiser! how's that for "family friendly"?

freddy krueger? ah, yes! truly what nightmares are made of!

chucky doll, anyone? thats not creepy at all, right? just a little toy who comes alive to kill people. nbd.

it's almost that time of year, kids! mr. hanky the christmas poo will definitely put a smile on your child's face.... because nothing says "family" like a talking piece of poop from south park.

and it just wouldn't be fair to not mention these delightful walking dead collectibles... i love the walking dead, but these toys are scary even for me!

if you're not disgusted by horror movies and zombies, maybe a good looking serial killer named dexter will do the trick. 

...while it would be easy to keep your kids away from that one aisle, there are many other items you might be offended by in other places throughout the store...

...like zombie costumes! why not dress your sweet prince up like an undead monster!? sweet right?

but i don't want to dwell on scary things alone...
lets look at the items that send your kids the wrong message by promoting bad habits.


DRINKING:

a fun game for drinkers everywhere. its like monopoly, but with beer. yay!

 GAMBLING:

hey kids! gamble your life away with this lovely poker chip set!

BREAKING THE LAW:

a radar detector? that doesn't even sound fun! but it sends a message to kids that its okay to break the law as long as they dont get caught!

MURDER:

a fun murder mystery game for the family... right in the game aisle. neat.

now that your kids are law breaking hellions, lets take a look at the video games that are on display at the local toys r us...

who doesn't like a good video game with a nice "torture victim" feel to it?

if brewopoly and murder mystery games weren't enough... grab a copy of grand theft auto! learn to steal, rape and kill all from the comfort of your living room!

and finally, the two items at toys r us that actually do scare the living daylights out of me...

tarot cards for all your little future fortune tellers out there... (ps if you are planning on surprising little soothsayer sally with a tarot card set, she probably already knows you bought it.)

and a freaking ouija board! i would rather my kids play with jesse and walt any day! those things should be banned everywhere. 

here's my final opinion on the whole matter.... there are a lot of other things out there that people should be worried about their kids seeing. if you see walter white in his underwear holding a bag of something blue, just keep walking... odds are your kid won't bat an eye... i'd be more worried about exposing them to bloody zombies and murderous little nightmare dolls.

so calm down, crazy mothers of america. take a deep breath and know that even though you succeeded at taking down these "evil" breaking bad action figures.... there will be plenty of other (even worse) things to take their place. xoxo