there is no greater love...

"A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother’s love endures through all." ~Washington Irving

after 28 years of living with my mom, she got married and moved 50 miles away. living on my own, i have been experiencing new things every day. living alone and learning to cook have been both fun and terrible adventures. 

but with every new experience whether good or bad, i have learned so much... most of all... i have learned thankfulness.

the thankfulness i feel is mainly for the blessings that God has given me.... one of those being my mom.

today i wanted to take the time to try to express my appreciation for the woman who gave me life and put up with me for my entire life... although words alone will never do justice to describe how amazing she truly is.

growing up, my mom did her best to make sure that our childhood was darn near magical. she did it so well that i treasure every memory... even through the tough times.
... because to me, even the bad times were seasoned with her love and positivity... so they were never really unbearable.

it was never our struggle as children. It was mom's. she struggled so that we could have a better life.., and she did it. and she ended up suffering through years of stress and shit for us. she deserves all the blessings in the world.

four months ago, i thought that life my life was over only because the life that i knew for the past 28 years had changed drastically. my mom found the love of her life... a man who wants nothing more than to take care of and provide for her. selfishly, i got upset and only thought of how this change would affect my life...
now i realize that this was not the end of my life... this was the beginning of both of our lives.
God has a purpose for everything and i know that this has been in His plans for a long time. He has blessed our family with a man who loves our mom ALMOST as much as we do.
it makes me so happy to see them together.
... and to top it off my mom looks so good in love! she becomes more and more beautiful every time i see her. and she deserves every minute of this!
it is her time to start living for herself instead of for everyone else!

lots of kids might grow up and resent their parents for things they did or didn't do... or blame them for the way they turned out because of the struggles their family faced along the way....
but we become who we are because of how we deal with those situations and how we choose to grow spiritually and emotionally.
it's not your parents' fault that you are too poor, ugly, fat, skinny, prudes, unfaithful spouses, etc. how you chose to live your life is based on your decisions alone!

so basically, give your parents a break. they did the best they knew how and even if they didn't, they gave you life. how you choose to live the life you were given is completely up to you. the things that happen to you can either destroy you or make you stronger. its all about perspective.

i wanted to write this for mother's day as a tribute to the woman who i love more than anyone else on this earth, but as usual, i lost track of time... but today is just as good a day as any because its her birthday and all i wish for her today is for many more years full of love and happiness. i cant say it enough... she deserves it all.

 married couples have become the cliques of pseudo-adulthood

but first... Lemme take a selfie

So yesterday's good mythical morning episode was all about the science behind selfies... 

They mentioned something about how girls over 24 start taking less and less selfies because they don't like the idea of aging... 

So here's the 28 year old selfie I took today because I felt defiant of these scientific findings! 

I like me at 28.

I think my lack in the selfie game has less to do with me aging and more to do with the fact that taking selfies makes me feel like a dumb attention hungry high school girl. I don't get down like that. 

But as far as being alone goes...

I kind of like it. 

A lot. 

I don't need anyone. 

Maybe I'd be okay if he never asked me.

Maybe I'm better off alone.

i'm proud of my cute little lego creations. 

soon my apartment will be the geeky little slice of heaven that i always hoped it would be.

its not you. its me.

i hate to admit it but i am officially one of those pathetic girls who complain all day long about how badly i want to be married.
its not that far fetched... i mean its not like my boyfriend of 6 months isn't wanting to settle down so i'm throwing a temper tantrum.

its been 6 years officially... and i'm at a yucky emotional crap hole time in my life where i cry about everything. its not me and i am not happy about it... but thats how things are going as of lately.

i don't blame him. i know he loves me.
but i hear about all these couples who have been together for no time at all that are getting married, having kids and the whole nine.... and i'm just sitting here at my stupid desk looking at pictures of cats with hilarious captions.

i don't want to grow up more than anyone else in the world... but i want to be not grown up with him!

and the longer i wait, the more i think that i'm the one who is holding him back...
what if i'm not marriage material?
maybe i have too bad of an attitude.
what if he gets sick of me?
why would anyone want to marry me anyways?
i'm not rich or drop dead gorgeous.
i have a dog that is 14 years old and still can't grasp the concept that it is not okay to look me in the eye and take a giant crap on the floor.
i am one giant mess.

i don't know what else to do.
i guess i'm supposed to just wait it out.
we'll see what happens i guess...

i think i'm kinda glad no one reads this.

making promises i can't keep...

so much for regular blog posts...
i had it in my head and heart to come back to this thing on january 3rd and then all hell broke loose.

here's a quick recap:

mom got the nasty sinus crap and cough that the rest of my family had before Christmas.
except hers lasted way longer.

in the midst of her being sick, she got married and somewhat moved out.
within a couple of weeks, she ended up going to the hospital for 3 days because she wasn't getting any better and she was complaining about being constantly short of breath.

after a nightmare of a time at the dirty prison known as memorial hospital and a few too many embarrassing situations involving family members and hospital staff, my mom finally was released out into the world again.

...and i was released into the grown up/ almost living on my own lifestyle.

as a twenty something who had never even spent the night alone.. this was terrifying. (and embarrassing)

i think i'm getting the hang of it though.
and its not all that bad.
as a matter of fact, i kind of like it.

i do see my mom during the week, so that helps... but we both work all day so its not quite the same.

i know that this is all happening for a reason and i know that in the end i will be grateful for these new experiences. and i get it... i had to grow up at some point... but i will never fully give in to the grown up way of life! you can't make me!

which also means i will be hanging this in my dining room... because what else can i say? i'm just that classy.