as promised, here's my beef with frosty the snowman.
i will be addressing frosty directly at times in hopes that he may get wind of my concerns.
i have watched the cartoon and listened to this song for many years and never had a problem with it.
it wasn't until last christmas that i noticed the utter annoyance that is the opening line... and that was just the beginning!
"HAPPEE BUHRT-DAY!!"
first of all frosty,
you're coming off pretty aggressive right out of the gate!
it's creepy and it disturbs me that it took me this long to hear it.
i understand, when winter rolls around, you come back to life and it's considered your "birthday" but I can assure you... come one april morning, i will not be waking up extra early just to wish myself an obscenely loud bday greeting. it's not normal.
next...
you sir, are a smoker! why else would you have a corncob pipe?
that is called paraphernalia if i've ever seen it!
also... aren't you made of snow?
doesn't fire melt snow?
are you attempting to commit suicide?
what kind of message is this sending the children?
...can't be good either way!
moving right along...
kids are laughing and playing with a man of snow and no one bothered to consult myfamilywatchdog.org?? that sounds like the recipe for a tragic story best suited for nancy grace's bombshell investigation team.
where are the parents??
these tiny people are running around with a transient stranger who is more commonly referred to in my book as a gypsy or worse... a carny.
gross.
alright snowman, so, you're traipsing around in the cold weather and it's all well and good, but the "hot" sun (as if the sun knows any other way to be) starts to rear its ugly head and you begin to melt.
what kind of activities do you have planned?
whats that, you say?
you want to RUN around while you're melting away??
oh yeah! what a terrific idea! just make sure you bring along a "wet floor" sign wherever you go. that could leave one heck of a lawsuit in your hands.
furthermore, are you even concerned with the safety of the kids? nobody likes to see kids slip and fall...
unless they're wearing heelys. then it's fair game. but i prefer to throw sticks in their paths. it's more effective than puddles of water.
amid all of the laughing, playing, running and melting, frosty decides to start carrying around a broomstick.
it may just be me but i think the only cleaning apparatus this guy needs is a mop. a broom is dangerous... especially if there's potentially a slip and fall case nearby. ouch.
if that's not enough to worry about, doesn't anyone even question the need for a broomstick at all?
he could be beating people with it and stealing wallets.
we all know he's not above breaking the law. that becomes quite evident when he only briefly pauses when a cop yells for him to stop running around like a mad man. after being reprimanded, frosty continues to wreak havoc on the town.
how is this a healthy environment for playful children?
so frosty, in closing i'd like to mention your plans of coming back next Christmas...
i just want you to know; i'm setting up a refuge in florida for families who also feel a little uneasy about your return. i hope you get the hint someday soon.
with love,
me
i will be addressing frosty directly at times in hopes that he may get wind of my concerns.
i have watched the cartoon and listened to this song for many years and never had a problem with it.
it wasn't until last christmas that i noticed the utter annoyance that is the opening line... and that was just the beginning!
"HAPPEE BUHRT-DAY!!"
first of all frosty,
you're coming off pretty aggressive right out of the gate!
it's creepy and it disturbs me that it took me this long to hear it.
i understand, when winter rolls around, you come back to life and it's considered your "birthday" but I can assure you... come one april morning, i will not be waking up extra early just to wish myself an obscenely loud bday greeting. it's not normal.
next...
you sir, are a smoker! why else would you have a corncob pipe?
that is called paraphernalia if i've ever seen it!
also... aren't you made of snow?
doesn't fire melt snow?
are you attempting to commit suicide?
what kind of message is this sending the children?
...can't be good either way!
moving right along...
kids are laughing and playing with a man of snow and no one bothered to consult myfamilywatchdog.org?? that sounds like the recipe for a tragic story best suited for nancy grace's bombshell investigation team.
where are the parents??
these tiny people are running around with a transient stranger who is more commonly referred to in my book as a gypsy or worse... a carny.
gross.
alright snowman, so, you're traipsing around in the cold weather and it's all well and good, but the "hot" sun (as if the sun knows any other way to be) starts to rear its ugly head and you begin to melt.
what kind of activities do you have planned?
whats that, you say?
you want to RUN around while you're melting away??
oh yeah! what a terrific idea! just make sure you bring along a "wet floor" sign wherever you go. that could leave one heck of a lawsuit in your hands.
furthermore, are you even concerned with the safety of the kids? nobody likes to see kids slip and fall...
unless they're wearing heelys. then it's fair game. but i prefer to throw sticks in their paths. it's more effective than puddles of water.
amid all of the laughing, playing, running and melting, frosty decides to start carrying around a broomstick.
it may just be me but i think the only cleaning apparatus this guy needs is a mop. a broom is dangerous... especially if there's potentially a slip and fall case nearby. ouch.
if that's not enough to worry about, doesn't anyone even question the need for a broomstick at all?
he could be beating people with it and stealing wallets.
we all know he's not above breaking the law. that becomes quite evident when he only briefly pauses when a cop yells for him to stop running around like a mad man. after being reprimanded, frosty continues to wreak havoc on the town.
how is this a healthy environment for playful children?
so frosty, in closing i'd like to mention your plans of coming back next Christmas...
i just want you to know; i'm setting up a refuge in florida for families who also feel a little uneasy about your return. i hope you get the hint someday soon.
with love,
me
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