we're gonna fashion this one after my last rant.
i quote... then i complain.
here we go.
i've been waiting for this one for a while...
WARNING:
this glorious Christmas song contains:
alcoholism.
drinking and driving.
unfaithfulness
same old (or it may be auld) lang sine
by dan fogelberg
"met my old lover in the
grocery store.
the snow was falling Christmas eve.
i stole behind her in the
frozen foods
and i touched her on the sleeve.
she didn't recognize the
face at first
but then her eyes flew
open wide
she went to hug me and she
spilled her purse
and we laughed until we cried."
how is that funny?
"we took her groceries to the
checkout stand.
the food was totalled up and
bagged."
where are your groceries?
why is she the only one buying anything?
why did you go to the grocery store for nothing?
were you stalking her?
i have so many unanswered questions!
"we stood there lost in our
embarrassment
as the conversation dragged."
that sounds like the exact opposite of a good time.
"we went to have ourselves
a drink or two"
oh yeah. sure! alcohol will make your boring conversations more interesting!
and what about the groceries?!
"but couldn't find an open bar
we bought a six-pack at
the liquor store
and we drank it in her car."
1st! nowadays that is so illegal and even if it's allowed wherever you lived... it's morally wrong.
2nd! the effing frozen foods! you know... what she was picking out when you had to just throw yourself into her already complicated life! yeah... those frozen foods... there probably all mushy and gross now! I don't care how cold it is... we all know you two had the heater on in the vehicle.
"we drank a toast to
innocence."
oxymoron
"we drank a toast to now
and tried to reach beyond
the emptiness
but neither one knew how."
buy more beer?
"she said she'd married her
an architect
who kept her warm and safe
and dry."
TMI
"she would have liked to say she
loved the man
but she didn't like to lie."
dan... your ex girlfriend is problematic...
"i said the years had been a
friend to her
and that her eyes were still
as blue
but in those eyes i wasn't
sure if i saw
doubt or gratitude."
and you're still hitting on her??
"she said she saw me in the
record stores
and that i must be doing well."
okay so riddle me this... how is it that this woman failed to recognize your face when you attacked her in the store?
"i said the audience was
heavenly
but the traveling was hell."
oh wah wah wah.
in the song at this point they keep drinking to random pseudo symbolic bull crap until...
"the beer was empty and our
tongues were tired
and running out of things to say
she gave a kiss to me as i got out
and i watched her drive away."
cool! liquor her up and send her on her way! that sounds perfectly safe.
merry Christmas drunky!
"just for a moment i was
back at school
and felt that old familiar pain
and as i turned to make
my way back home
the snow turned into rain..."
that was truly a waste of time.
nothing changed.
both parties went back to the lives they were just complaining about... except now they both know information that will potentially make them despise their lives even more.
mmkay. that is all.
i'm over this stupid song.
i quote... then i complain.
here we go.
i've been waiting for this one for a while...
WARNING:
this glorious Christmas song contains:
alcoholism.
drinking and driving.
unfaithfulness
same old (or it may be auld) lang sine
by dan fogelberg
"met my old lover in the
grocery store.
the snow was falling Christmas eve.
i stole behind her in the
frozen foods
and i touched her on the sleeve.
she didn't recognize the
face at first
but then her eyes flew
open wide
she went to hug me and she
spilled her purse
and we laughed until we cried."
how is that funny?
"we took her groceries to the
checkout stand.
the food was totalled up and
bagged."
where are your groceries?
why is she the only one buying anything?
why did you go to the grocery store for nothing?
were you stalking her?
i have so many unanswered questions!
"we stood there lost in our
embarrassment
as the conversation dragged."
that sounds like the exact opposite of a good time.
"we went to have ourselves
a drink or two"
oh yeah. sure! alcohol will make your boring conversations more interesting!
and what about the groceries?!
"but couldn't find an open bar
we bought a six-pack at
the liquor store
and we drank it in her car."
1st! nowadays that is so illegal and even if it's allowed wherever you lived... it's morally wrong.
2nd! the effing frozen foods! you know... what she was picking out when you had to just throw yourself into her already complicated life! yeah... those frozen foods... there probably all mushy and gross now! I don't care how cold it is... we all know you two had the heater on in the vehicle.
"we drank a toast to
innocence."
oxymoron
"we drank a toast to now
and tried to reach beyond
the emptiness
but neither one knew how."
buy more beer?
"she said she'd married her
an architect
who kept her warm and safe
and dry."
TMI
"she would have liked to say she
loved the man
but she didn't like to lie."
dan... your ex girlfriend is problematic...
"i said the years had been a
friend to her
and that her eyes were still
as blue
but in those eyes i wasn't
sure if i saw
doubt or gratitude."
and you're still hitting on her??
"she said she saw me in the
record stores
and that i must be doing well."
okay so riddle me this... how is it that this woman failed to recognize your face when you attacked her in the store?
"i said the audience was
heavenly
but the traveling was hell."
oh wah wah wah.
in the song at this point they keep drinking to random pseudo symbolic bull crap until...
"the beer was empty and our
tongues were tired
and running out of things to say
she gave a kiss to me as i got out
and i watched her drive away."
cool! liquor her up and send her on her way! that sounds perfectly safe.
merry Christmas drunky!
"just for a moment i was
back at school
and felt that old familiar pain
and as i turned to make
my way back home
the snow turned into rain..."
that was truly a waste of time.
nothing changed.
both parties went back to the lives they were just complaining about... except now they both know information that will potentially make them despise their lives even more.
mmkay. that is all.
i'm over this stupid song.
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